Runaway Love

Love. "I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like." Scratch that I can't even tell you that. Cause the only thing I can tell you about is what I dream about, pray for, see all around me. Ive never had something Worth writing about. Worth losing everything for. And maybe thats because I run. I run from anything with potential. Anything or anyone who might care for me like how I should.. no NEED to be cared for.

The one thing I know that will make me complete will also be the one thing to destroy me.

I fear losing. I always have. I don't lose. Whether thats a game of dodge ball in P.E. or a high stakes bet. I give my everything to NOT lose. I fear losing control, maybe most. Not having a say in how I feel or how he feels. Or whether or not I will get broken and forgotten or be that one great love people write movies and songs about. Thats why I run.

"Had sweet love but I lost it, (he) got to close so I fought it."

But one day:
I won't be scared.
I won't have to fight.
I'll be enough. No MORE than enough.

One day I'll will have someone who I can give my whole heart to. Someone who will understand me. [cause no one seems to be able to do that] who will know and love every part of me. Someone who will make me his world. Someone who won't laugh at my dreams but dream them with me. Someone who will play play dough with me. Who will do whatever he has to do make me his. Some one who will sneak me out just cause he can't stand to be away any longer. Who smiles at the way my cheeks get big and dimples appear each time I laugh. Someone who doesn't care that all I know for sure is that I want to travel eat and explore. Who will want to do it all with me. Someone who will make me want to be better, who won't want me to change no matter what society says. Someone who challenges me. Some who is perfectly imperfect. who won't stop fighting for me.

Thats when I'll know I'm in love. When I find him. The one who won't let me run away. The one guy I can't physically run from because he will be my everything. The air I breathe, the tears I cry, the joy I feel, the love of my life.

But until then I'm just going to keep running. Cause thats all I know for sure.

~June Carter